Trying to Buy Myself a Horse for Eventing

I asked my friends on Facebook, partly as a joke and partly semi interested in the response as to whether to buy a horse or to buy a road bike. I have this strong inkling to do a triathlon and yet there is still a lot of unfinished horse ambitions to achieve. The resultant conversation took a weird twist where friends all started talking about having children and telling me that they fit into your life really easily and that they cannot imagine not having them. Now being incredibly child phobic, I was slightly baffled about this because it’s effectively like asking me to choose between cake, cookies and sprouts.

The thing is it is easier to buy a road bike. I can get a very decent one for £1k which will last me several

years and be more than adequate for packing me round my first few triathlons. The thought of buying another horse is bringing me out in a sweat.

The problem is I am looking for what every single other person seems to want out there. I want an athletic horse which jumps well and is a willing partner to work with. Unfortunately I also do not have an insane budget. Unfortunately I want a Ferrari with the budget of a Fiesta.

I have to admit right now I am incredibly bitter towards Brexit. The 52% who voted out are not my friends right now. This includes my mother, who is definitely not forgiven for contributing towards a 15% drop in the value of the pound against the euro. This has kind of smashed up my plans for a French or Irish horse which is usually my first port of call.

In May £7000 would have been 9000 euro and now it’s just over 8000 euro. Brilliant.

So where do I start? I usually start by writing a wanted advert. Last time I wrote one I had vague criteria which was promptly ignored and so this time I am going to try humour to see if people read to the end.

To be honest my friends look at me with a wry smile when I start looking for a horse. They think my demands are impossible and that I am the fussiest person alive. I also have this weird habit of horses appearing at my front door kind of by accident (last 5 have been found like this) without much effort going in. I did make a half-hearted effort in 2014 before another freebie horse turned up. But this time, by Jove, I am going to look properly and find what I want.

Well, I might eventually in 2 years when my budget saved is closer to £15k and then in honesty I could never spend that kind of money on a horse which could effectively drop dead tomorrow. I would want some more guarantees like bricks and mortar for that kind of money!

So learning my lessons over the years from failures these are the essentials.

THE ABSOLUTE ESSENTIALS

• It must be at least 16.2hh – 17.1hh. I am 5’9 and though you might be 6ft on a 15.2hh. I would prefer it if I was not knocking down poles with my feet, ploughing up farmers’ fields with my feet or being put on gate duty out hunting because I have been mistaken for a PC kid.
• It must be bay, chestnut, dun or grey. I am a horse racist and completely biased against horses which are coloured. Yes I am a bad person, and yes, your best ever horse might have been the coloured gypsy cob cross you found down the road tethered to the grass verge .
• It must make a good shape over a fence by using its neck, back and shoulders. Having had a horse recently which jumped like a wheelbarrow which no amount of training could change then this is something which is essential for me.
• Aged 4-7 years old. Not bothered about ridden or unbroken. But I would prefer if it was unbroken due to good reasons rather than because it had been screwed up and it now knew how to bronk like a demon.

WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE

• It would be great to have a horse with a head you fell in love with every time you saw it. I find this particularly helpful when the horse inevitably ends up on box rest. But hey if it has a head like that of a bucket and jumps like a stag then who am I to be fussy?
• Moves straight with good limbs is fairly important.
• If it could possibly not try and kill my mother (though its justified by her Brexit vote) while she does evening stables that would be nice and would make my life easier for vet and farrier visits when I am at work.
• Within a 3 hour driving distance would be nice. It’s quicker for me to get to Ireland than it is Scotland and up North so horses within my radius would be nice. I live in Somerset so to find a horse in the South West would make me even happier.
• Recognisable breeding. If it’s a nice 4yo who will be 5yo next year’s it’s great to have options for age classes.

So, on the whole I do not think I am being too demanding? The only problem is I want what everybody wants. So let the games and fun begin where you eventually slide into depression that you cannot find this magical unicorn.

At least I am realistic that the struggle is uphill and that I may end up doing triathlon and putting down the horse ambitions. The thing is I am not prepared to compromise. I don’t want to compete at the lower levels. I know what type of horse I need to go round at least Novice level and that is what I am after. A partner who you enjoy riding, who tries for you and who makes it feel easy.

Luckily I am willing to put time and effort into producing a horse so it might be a patience game but one which will pay off in the end.

If you feel like you have a horse that you think might be suitable please email Lucy@e-venting.co.uk with photos or video.